Posts by Aubrey Smith

Team: “Private Practice”

For us Social Workers (and I imagine Psychologists and other Allied Health Professionals) private practice is often way too private! Isolating…lonely…vulnerable! This was my experience for the first few months, needing to reach out to colleagues in other agencies for support with cases that seemed too big for one person to manage alone. But now I am blessed to be a part of an amazing “private practice” team. Today I was I was surrounded with such “teamwork”… The support of an administration team to sort appointments and manage messages (and hear my rants in between) The backing of a clinical staff
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Categories: Uncategorized.

To Advise or Not to Advise? That is the Question!

To Advise or Not to Advise? That is the Question! It is the age old question, what does a woman want when she shares her problem with you?  I recall as a child, my mother telling me “a woman wants to be heard, listened to, understood… yet a man is programmed to fix things and often jumps to advice before listening enough to address the woman’s needs”. In recent weeks this exact issue has reared its head numerous times in my counselling room and so it is apparent it needs some air time. Doug… “I don’t even know what I
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Categories: Relationships.

Healthy Anger, what does it mean?

Sometimes anger can cause us to get stuck on an emotional level and then we don’t move through other emotions appropriately and eventually get “Over it”. When we don’t let go of built up anger in a healthy way, we may find that we get angry at people who are completely innocent. If we do voice our anger, and particularly aim it at the person who has made us feel this way, we can damage our future relationship with that person. Often guilt can follow. Kids automatically know how to let their bodies release the anger. Many parents stop kids
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Categories: Self Care.

Energy Flows and Self Care

Do the people in your life energize or deplete you? Today we are talking about some of the common reasons we can be depleted of energy via our relationships and how you can analyze them and make changes to help bring more energy back to you. We live in a mutual world where we spend our days giving and sharing with others. Sometimes these relationships are reciprocal displaying an even amount of giving in both directions. But some of our relationships are more one directional, with energies and time being directed mostly from one person to the other, with very
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Categories: Relationships and Self Care.

What Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

We are often told “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, but we also know that event/tragedy/fight or whatever else is being referred to can be unbelievably challenging at the time – regardless of strengths, lessons or capabilities that come from it. I have recently had the privilege of working with a family who was referring to this very notion in relation to past difficulties which have led to a resilience that has recently become very valuable as they faced the biggest and hardest challenge of their lives. The woman said to me “we have had very difficult times in
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Categories: Relationships.

Your Bottom Line: How Crossable Is It?

We all have them, or claim to have them. The lists of things that would spell the end of a relationship for us. This line moves and is evidenced by different things depending on the relationships that we are referring to. Many of us will claim to have clearly defined line with a work colleague (“if she speaks to me that way one more time I’m out of here”) yet state that there is no line in our relationship with our children (“I will stand by my son no matter what he did”). We also have different lines for our
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Categories: Relationships.

Understanding One Another

Arguing the merits of one’s position is wasted energy: facts and realities are nowhere near as definite as you would think.  Perhaps it’s time to stop pushing your point across in an attempt to get the other person to see the FACTS, and start being curious about how the other person is INTERPRETING the “facts”. You work long hours in an attempt to provide for your family, you feel that the best way… to show your love and commitment to those you love is by making them secure. BUT your partner interprets this differently… They tell you repeatedly that you
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Categories: Relationships.

Forgiveness or Not?

Why do we forgive? Is it for others or do we do it for ourselves? The answer to this is perhaps the reason why some of us can forgive, yet others struggle to let go. What are the benefits and consequences of the forgiveness paths for you? If you chose to not forgive who wears the burden of this choice? But what about when forgiveness is not an option, how do we live with the fear, anger and pain? As discussed previously there are always choices: walk way and start on a new path stay as you are, and continue
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Categories: Relationships.

What the Mind Agrees With the Body Will Follow

The unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between real fear and an imaginary one.  Body and Mind healing; There are a great many conditions and specialty areas in medicine where clinical Hypnotherapy can be of great benefit and can contribute to positive treatment outcomes. Introducing deep relaxation, management of discomfort and pain, confidence ego strengthening, anxiety and insomnia all work towards making the individual comfortable. It is important to recognise that working with emotional disorders is not as simple as suggesting them away or imagining them disappearing.  It is essential to engage careful assessment and history taking prior to Clinical
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Categories: Self Care.

Paper Dolls – More than meets the eye.

His name is Mwangi and he is from a village called  Kajiado in Maasi land Kenya.  Mwangi did not speak English but he  decided that while I was teaching at his school I was his adoped Mzungu or white person. He followed me everywhere. Even turning up to classes in the afternoon when baby class had finished. Language was no barrier to the things we could learn from each other.  Mwangi was an orphan.  He had lost his parents and older sister to AIDs.  This meant that he was being cared for by extended family.  Mwangi had never seen colouring
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Categories: Relationships.